Life has a way of bringing out the best and the worst in us, especially when it comes to our inner dialogue. For as long as I can remember, I've been fascinated by the way people handle pain and their potential for growth. As a child at family gatherings, I’d observe how faces, voices, and even body language shifted when people shared their joys and their sorrows. Yet, I noticed something curious: in the midst of daily life, most people rarely pause to reflect, question, or change their habitual beliefs.
My own life took a transformative turn when I realized the power of making different choices. That’s when I truly understood that change, though challenging, is achievable with time, effort, and consistent commitment. And the beauty is, even the smallest adjustments can dramatically enhance the quality of your life.
Our past experiences shape who we are—both positively and negatively. But dwelling on or avoiding past pain doesn’t resolve it. There’s a more empowering alternative: facing it, addressing it, and moving forward.
What Is Inner Chatter?
Inner chatter is that internal voice, the narrator in your head that never stops commenting on you, your choices, and the world around you. Often referred to as the "monkey mind" for its relentless activity, this voice can be harmless, or it can be a destructive force that chips away at your self-worth and confidence.
The good news is, you don’t have to be a victim of your inner critic. The power to change is within you. By consciously shifting how you react to your inner chatter, you can transform self-doubt into self-belief, and pain into empowerment.
Acknowledging the Pain
The residual pain from past events won't disappear until it's acknowledged and processed. Emotional energy, when allowed to flow freely, can bring vitality and joy. But when ignored or denied, it becomes toxic, manifesting as physical tension or emotional pain. Unresolved emotions can seep into your relationships, your health, and every aspect of your life.
I understand that change isn’t easy. I’ve been through it, and I continue to practice it daily. The good news is, these practices don’t have to be time-consuming—they can be done anywhere, anytime.
Steps to Calm Your Inner Negative Chatter
Acknowledge and Recognise
Notice when your mind starts emitting negative thoughts, or when you feel a drop in mood, anxiety, or physical tension in areas like your jaw, chest, or stomach. Awareness is the first step to change. Pay attention to how your body, mind, and emotions communicate with each other. For many, physical tension or anxiety is the first sign that the inner critic is taking over.
Breathe
When you catch yourself in negative thinking, bring your attention to your breath for three minutes. Create a continuous flow between inhalation and exhalation, focusing especially on slowing down your exhale. Ground yourself in the present moment by noticing your physical body—stretch, move, or simply shift to create a sense of ease.
Reassure Yourself
It’s okay to feel discomfort—acknowledge it, but remind yourself that it will pass. If your mind becomes more anxious, gently tell yourself, “This will pass.” If possible, engage your body by moving or drinking a glass of water, or shift your focus to something external, like a flower or a small object you're grateful for.
Avoid the Drama Cycle
Resist the temptation to get stuck in a cycle of blame, judgment, or hopelessness. Avoid thinking “Why me?” or “It’s all my fault.” These thoughts only fuel the chatter and drain your energy. Instead, focus on what you can control in the moment—your breath, your movement, and your mindset.
Repeat and Commit to the Practice
Stay with the process until the intensity of the negative thoughts or emotions decreases. When it does, take a moment to offer yourself gratitude for staying committed to managing your mindset. This is a practice everyone can benefit from—it’s part of the human experience.
Empowering Your Growth
By committing to this practice for even 21 days and journaling about your progress, you’ll begin to notice patterns and triggers more clearly. Challenge yourself to get comfortable with discomfort in small ways, like taking a cold shower, walking when you don’t feel like it, or parking in a different spot than usual. These small actions pull you out of autopilot and help expand your sense of self.
Once you start responding differently to the pain that resides in fear, low self-esteem, or doubt, your physical energy will rise, and your mind will gain clarity. It’s a journey, so be gentle with yourself. Honour what you’ve been through while knowing that you have the power to create change.
Small Steps, Big Results
Making new choices and sticking to simple, mindful practices every day can bring long-term positive changes, not only to your life but to the lives of those around you. All it takes is a commitment to your well-being, and you’ll begin to see just how powerful you truly are.
This self-care guide encourages you to take small, manageable steps towards greater self-awareness, emotional freedom, and empowerment. By calming your inner negative chatter, you can become more regulated in your nervous system. Reclaim your right to a peaceful mind and embrace a more fulfilling, confident life.
Caroline Hales
Dip Brennan Healing Science
Hdip in Social, Personal, Health & Education
Yoga & Meditation Teacher
Reiki Practitioner
Dip Ki Massage
