Boundaries are essential for creating a safe space, providing clarity, and nurturing a sense of individuality. By establishing boundaries, we develop autonomy, boost self-confidence, and strengthen our self-worth.
A healthy boundary is dynamic—it's flexible, allowing for meaningful connections while still preserving your own sense of self. However, boundaries that are too rigid can feel like walls, isolating both parties. On the other hand, boundaries that are too weak can leave us feeling exposed and uncertain, undermining our sense of agency and making decision-making difficult.
When you begin to respond differently or set new boundaries, discomfort is inevitable. You may notice changes in how others react, but remember, their responses are their responsibility—not yours. True change takes time, and learning to tolerate discomfort is part of that process.
In survival mode, people often hold their boundaries rigidly, pushing through pain, exhaustion, and joylessness just to get by. When boundaries are flimsy, it’s easy to lose yourself in what others want.
Boundaries exist across all aspects of life. Physically, they may look like closing a door for privacy or listening to your body when it reacts by tensing or relaxing around certain people or situations. The key is to stay curious about your boundaries without judgement.
In relationships, boundaries can be challenging. Start by noticing how you feel after a conversation or interaction. Set the intention to remain grounded and connected before responding to texts or phone calls. Reflect on your thoughts, words, and actions—are they driven by habit or your true self?
Approaching yourself with curiosity and compassion is vital in this process. Self-compassion and a light-hearted attitude make it easier to navigate change, especially as it may stir up past beliefs and emotions. Becoming comfortable with discomfort is necessary for lasting transformation.
Many of us reach adulthood without realising we have the right to live our lives authentically—to make decisions that suit us and even change our minds. Challenging times can offer opportunities to rewrite old patterns. Speaking up when you’d normally remain quiet, or staying silent when you'd usually speak, can be uncomfortable but ultimately rewarding.
Some of us tend to people-please, aiming to keep the peace or avoid upsetting anyone. The need to be liked can overshadow our true responses. It’s worth reflecting on this tendency and considering what truly drives your actions.
Take your time. Start small. Honour your boundaries—and yourself.
Caroline Hales
Dip. Brennan Healing Science
Hdip Social, Personal, Health & Education
Yoga & Meditation Teacher
Reiki Practitioner
Dip Ki Massage
